It just occurred to me that last week was one of those weeks where God spoke and came through big time!! He always does but this time He really got me.
Some people may think that because I got to South Africa I have this faith thing under control...not so my friend. The call to walk by faith and not by sight is such a perfect expression because it really is an ongoing walk,one minute you have the faith to move mountains and 30 minutes later you're sick with worry about a particular situation.You are CONSTANTLY challenged to live by faith! I like to believe I have faith and a pretty decent amount of it...oy that sounds a bit vain,but the truth is I do think that a good set of the time.But then I noticed how I would get anxious in situations where I know or rather believe God has spoken to me specifically and my excuse would always be " well I'm not really sure it was God "...!?!? I can't believe that I really used that excuse because the requirement to have faith is because we are never certain about anything. If I was always sure about the end result of anything I wouldn't need faith to continue,if God spoke to me in a big booming voice about everything I wouldn't need as much faith as when He speaks in a..still..small...voice shhh.
All of that was to say this,my phone was stolen about two weeks ago and I frankly did not want to buy another phone so what did I do? I prayed about it and I felt like God told me to wait...wait on God for another phone?! Maybe I was just hearing things,I'm wasn't really suuuure it was God.So rather than get a new phone I decided to wait..I waited and waited,I thought a new phone was going to come in one way and it didnt...I had not only asked God for a phone but I also told Him that I needed one by the next Friday because I was taking a team out and figured it would be the responsible thing to have a phone.So when I didn't get the phone the way I thought I was going to I started to have heart palpitations.
To make a long story less long ( I'm too far gone to make it short ) I didnt' need the phone by Friday because Friday we did not go out as planned ( another God thing) aaaaaand my ex-roommate was leaving SA and gave me her phone.
Now I have a phone and I am also reminded that fear does not go alongside faith and if I was sure about every single thing I wouldn't need to have faith :)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
"Christmas is coming, the geese are getting fat......"
..please put a penny in the old man's hat
if you haven't got a penny a half penny will do
and if you haven't got a penny,God bless you!!!if you haven't got a penny a half penny will do
Well if you're still curious about what I'm on about,Christmas is coming!!!! Christmas is honestly my favourite time of year,I'm not as into it as I used to be ( gift buying just got too stressful,you can't buy the same kind of gifts you bought when you were 13).But man there's something about those Christmas carols,the food and most of all family coming together....ooooo and lights,gotta have Christmas lights.
Unfortunately the anticipation of Christmas has brought little spasms of homesickness , I heard "lil drummer boy" playing in the supermarket and I nearly had a breakdown.This will be my second Christmas away in a row...and I have no idea what my holiday season will look like. The base is officially closed for Christmas and a lot of the staff are headed home so I don't know who will be around and I don't know if I will have the money do do anything with the people who do stay around... sigh,Christmas.
But my housemate encouraged me that our house will have lights,and I may splurge on a santa claus hat..maybe a piece of ham.That's one of the many Christmas traditions back in Barbados,ham in bread with a little hot sauce. I've eaten it every Christmas morning for as long as I can remember. We also make rum cake...I think the English call it a fruit pudding or something,either way the two are pretty similar.If I'm feeling really adventurous I might write home for recipe.
On the upside,I do get to enjoy a South African Christmas !
Well that's it,I just wanted to have a small rant about Christmas...hopefully we will be having a Christmas party for the women who have been coming to our weekly community Bible Study, pictures and news will follow..I think.
Ciao!!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The Highs and Lows Part 1
Ok its been waaay too long since I've posted something..so here goes.
Last week was a very interesting week,I was bouncing off the walls for the first couple of days and by the time Wednesday came around I was just about ready to zone out...I definitely learned that it is not good experiences that can or will sustain us when thing get a little challenging or better yet,mundane.
Since I have been here I have met a couple of other women who are hoping to work with girls in the community and last Tuesday I had the opportunity to sit and talk with them about starting a ministry in a nearby township.We prayed about it and just felt like God was birthing something in us,it was truly an amazing time of prayer and I walked out of there on cloud nine,excited about what God was going to do through us.I mean I was just soooooooo excited I thought I was going to trip over myself :)
But that great experience on Tuesday could not keep me for the rest of the week and surely enough by Wednesday I had found something to be anxious about.Friday I was going to be leading some students in doing prostitution outreach on a nearby highway( for the first time !!!) and the more I thought about it the more nervous I got.I don't about you but when I entertain anxiety for long enough I start to feel sick to the stomach,just wishing that the day would come and go.
Looking back on it I really don't know what I was worrying about because its not about me at all,I always find that when I put pressure on myself to make something happen in ministry I get very very anxious,to the point where I have no peace in my everyday life.And honestly I don't normally realise how important that peace is until I have lost it,I must confess that my head had gotten so full of plans and ideas that I really was not spending time with God like should have been and once that connection or flow is broken you're asking for stress...the Tuesday time with God had been great but after that I was running on my own fuel.
The more you pour out the more you need to be poured into my God...there's a song by Sara Groves that says it perfectly," I'll never be a light unless I turn my eyes to You" and that my friend was exactly what I needed to do.
Thank goodness God doesn't wait for us to get our acts together.Friday night's ministry went really well,there are some things I know I will have to change and adjust by this Friday's outreach but it was a great start nonetheless.
Lata!
P.S......
Our prostitution outreach ministry is based on building relationships with women who are in prostituion, its not a formula and we go out there knowing that it could take weeks before a relationship is started but its about pursuing these women with God's love the way God pursued us who are already believers.We usually ask the women their name,whether they have families or not,that kind of thing...trying to genuinely start a relationship with them.This one particular lady was really open to our questions,we prayed for her and she just responded in so much love and we were all hugging and she was crying it was such a special moment and afterwards she gave us her address so we could come visit her.Sooooo hopefully this week we will be doing a follow up visit and who knows what will happen from there.
Its hard to hear women's stories though,because we talked to this woman and you realise that you can't fix her problem,that even after weeks of relationship building and praying she could still be in the same situation. But my hope is in Christ,what He did for me I know He can do for these women and its that hope and that light that we're offering these women when we go out.
Last week was a very interesting week,I was bouncing off the walls for the first couple of days and by the time Wednesday came around I was just about ready to zone out...I definitely learned that it is not good experiences that can or will sustain us when thing get a little challenging or better yet,mundane.
Since I have been here I have met a couple of other women who are hoping to work with girls in the community and last Tuesday I had the opportunity to sit and talk with them about starting a ministry in a nearby township.We prayed about it and just felt like God was birthing something in us,it was truly an amazing time of prayer and I walked out of there on cloud nine,excited about what God was going to do through us.I mean I was just soooooooo excited I thought I was going to trip over myself :)
But that great experience on Tuesday could not keep me for the rest of the week and surely enough by Wednesday I had found something to be anxious about.Friday I was going to be leading some students in doing prostitution outreach on a nearby highway( for the first time !!!) and the more I thought about it the more nervous I got.I don't about you but when I entertain anxiety for long enough I start to feel sick to the stomach,just wishing that the day would come and go.
Looking back on it I really don't know what I was worrying about because its not about me at all,I always find that when I put pressure on myself to make something happen in ministry I get very very anxious,to the point where I have no peace in my everyday life.And honestly I don't normally realise how important that peace is until I have lost it,I must confess that my head had gotten so full of plans and ideas that I really was not spending time with God like should have been and once that connection or flow is broken you're asking for stress...the Tuesday time with God had been great but after that I was running on my own fuel.
The more you pour out the more you need to be poured into my God...there's a song by Sara Groves that says it perfectly," I'll never be a light unless I turn my eyes to You" and that my friend was exactly what I needed to do.
Thank goodness God doesn't wait for us to get our acts together.Friday night's ministry went really well,there are some things I know I will have to change and adjust by this Friday's outreach but it was a great start nonetheless.
Lata!
P.S......
Our prostitution outreach ministry is based on building relationships with women who are in prostituion, its not a formula and we go out there knowing that it could take weeks before a relationship is started but its about pursuing these women with God's love the way God pursued us who are already believers.We usually ask the women their name,whether they have families or not,that kind of thing...trying to genuinely start a relationship with them.This one particular lady was really open to our questions,we prayed for her and she just responded in so much love and we were all hugging and she was crying it was such a special moment and afterwards she gave us her address so we could come visit her.Sooooo hopefully this week we will be doing a follow up visit and who knows what will happen from there.
Its hard to hear women's stories though,because we talked to this woman and you realise that you can't fix her problem,that even after weeks of relationship building and praying she could still be in the same situation. But my hope is in Christ,what He did for me I know He can do for these women and its that hope and that light that we're offering these women when we go out.
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