What is your hope in?

Psalm147:11( NLT)

No, the Lord's delight is in those who fear Him,those who put their hope in His unfailing love.

Perhaps I have read this before,perhaps I have heard sermons on it..I don't know but  a couple days ago the last part of that verse began to scream to me..not even speak but scream.

 I guess God was really asking me..what do I put my hope in? And honestly I put my hope in a lot of things other than God's love..God's love makes me uncomfortable to tell the truth and in the back of my head I sometimes think no this can't be right there must be something that I need to do to earn this love,its too good to be true. So  because I can't wrap my carnal mind around God's love I put my  hope in God's power...aah now power is something I can understand,the world displays power all of the time..a powerful leader that everyone fears,a poweful super hero that everyone calls on in their time of need..... so I can take one of those examples substitute in God and "think" I understand God's power. Or maybe I put my hope in God's justice..God is just, so I put my hope in a God who will come and  kill all the wicked,mean people in the world.But once again my view of what is just has been influenced by the world so  I " understand" God's justice because I think it is possibly like the justice I  have seen on tv or read about in history books. I think I understand God's mercy,I think I understand His grace...but do I?I can't if I don't understand His love.

I can look to the world and find some wish washy ( and I mean wish washy) parallel of God's character and nature...except for His love.His love is too mind boggling,too undeserved,too unconditional...so instead of putting my hope in His love I put  my hope in my perception of His power,,something I think I can more readily understand.But God doesn't want me to put my hope in  His power..that would be missing the whole point

.What really scared me and totally utterly messed with my head is the thought of putting my hope...MY HOPE,in something that  I do not understand something that seems tender,intangible, flowery and yet potent.God's love. But it is because of God's love that He is just,it is because of  God's love that He is merciful,gracious,compassionate,slow to anger,faithful in His all His ways...it is because of His love that He displays His power...it is because of His love.But sadly I haven't put my hope in God's love..I think I'm too afraid to,I don't understand it.

But I know that God is asking me to... because if  I can put my hope,my confident trust..in His love for me and in His love for everyone else,then  ..whom shall I fear,of whom shall I be afraid?